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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 21.06.2025 00:12

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By taking turns talking.